Criticize

via Daily Prompt: Criticize

Parenting in the current generation is a very challenging task due to varied reasons, and I’m sure most of you will agree to this. Am not getting into the nitty gritty of why it’s challenging..for every parent would have dealt with custom made situations.

Ups and downs have been present throughout my parenting career. Childhood tantrums, teenage rage, rows, arguments, discussions, oh! plenty of situations to prick the full blown parenting balloon – BOOM, and I am down to earth, totally deflated.

Moments like these, often set my brain thinking, Am I good enough as a parent ?? I criticize, I inquire, to find for the deep insecurities hidden within, to find the evidences to support my stance, to present my case before the judge residing in my court room. The proceedings begin…I start presenting by defending, as a defense attorney..justifying and arguing to prove myself right. After all, I have to win the case.

After the emotional turmoil has settled down, the mother in me, comes forward to present her stance as the public prosecutor…Is all this turmoil worth it? whom are you fighting against and why? What will you gain by winning this case? It’s your child. Even if you prove yourself right, you finally end up losing the case, as the child is a mere extension of you. Is this argument, battle really so important in the long run? If not, let it go. Choose and win the battles which matter.

After, this motherly dose of arguments, happens the out of court settlement – Truce is proclaimed, victory is ours 🙂

Points To Ponder

 

 

Scene 1

My mobile phone just fell into a bucket of water, son, came an aged dad, and handed over the wet phone to his son. Never mind dad, let me see, what I can do to fix it says the son…

Imagine, if the same act was done by your child and the child comes to you and says, sorry daddy, I was playing with the phone and it just slipped and fell into the bucket of water.

How would you react??

Scene 2

Fathom this, a family consisting of grandparents, parents and kids, having dinner…. The younger child 8 years old, is done with dinner, the residual food left in the Childs plate is watery….Grandpa says, leave your plate on the table, I will stash away your plate in the sink, else you’ll end up spilling the leftover food on the way to the wash area.

As the parent of the child, how do you react??

Scene 3

A Mom and daughter on the way to the bus stop…early morning, cool breeze blowing, birds chirping, the duo, enjoying each other’s company, chatting, cuddling, laughing, everything picture perfect. On reaching the stop and waiting for the school bus to arrive, the daughter gets busy chatting with her friend, Mom takes to her friend – the mobile phone. Both are engrossed talking and chatting, one face to face and the other with her “mobile” friend(s). The school bus arrives, picks up the other kids waiting and leaves. The mom and daughter, being busy are blissfully unaware, of the arrival of the bus. The daughter has missed the bus.

Being in the moms place, how would you react??

Scene 4

Your child is walking, in the park, on the street, or in the stairway, along with you. The child is lost in his/her own dream world, thinking of the latest car, Ben 10 or engrossed in the world of fairies and princesses. And lo, he/she missed seeing a puddle of water or missed a step and had a fall. His/her dream shattered, bruised and in pain, starts howling and crying.

How would you react??

I’m sure, we as parents have faced many such scenes in our journey of parenting, which is quite challenging. Each parent is created differently and is unique in his or her own way, and will react differently in similar situations.

Why are we afraid to allow our children to make mistakes, and in the process, allow them to learn & grow? It’s not because they would fall and be in pain, it’s because, we as parents have to bear the brunt of the consequences of their actions.

If the answers to any of the scenarios above, is maybe, I would have, then it’s time to get some remedial measures in place.
While, it’s next to impossible to have a set rule to parenting or to deal with a situation, the above situations are just pointers to where we as parents could possibly learn to be “well behaved” or learn not to react.