I have often talked in my blogs about faith, surrender, flow of life and allowing life to happen to us.
In the past few days, I found myself floundering on following all of the above. The untimely demise of a young boy, in my extended family, left me shattered. My faith, belief, trust everything got punctured. I was totally deflated. In the moment of grief, I conferred God to be unkind, ruthless and cruel, to snatch a young and playful child from a mothers lap.
As I felt helpless, tears rolling down my cheeks, I told myself, that all of these are just philosophical “gyaan”, which is nice to talk and write about.
A few days of frustration, helplessness and war of random thoughts in my mind, brought me a wave of realization, that come what may, life WILL pull out the carpet from under my feet. Fall I will, and hurt myself I will, – no escaping that. What distinguishes me, is my ability to get up and stand, after the fall. That is surrender, that is going with the flow. That is the only choice available to me, for if I were in control, I would have made sure that there would be no mishaps or unpleasant experiences. Life experiences are our curriculum in this school called life, which is customized and tailor made as per our requirements.
Today, I seem to have come to accept the situation life hurled at us, and I am making a conscious effort to get up and stand after the fall, it’s not easy by any stretch of imagination. The scar of the loss will remain, I try to apply a balm to cover it and ask the Almighty to give us the power to heal the scar. I am sure, God the fountainhead of love, will forgive me for my unmindful ranting during my days of ‘low’.